EOW meets timely demise

It has traversed vast distances. It has been the dryer sheet to the fabric of space-time. It has provided a shoulder for malicious tyrannical sentience robots to cry upon. The EOW was the best of times and cashed out at the worst of times. It has been said that if you were to cut it in half it would result in an improper fraction, and that the EOW prays to a Higgs boson before it plays craps. Alas the EOW has succumbed to cancer of the imagination and is no longer.

Wendy gets entangled in quantum fax machine

   In her latest attempt to be in two places at once Wendy tries to clone herself via Kinko’s new quantum fax machine. Unfortunately the guy behind the counter forgot to properly seed the destination location and when he pressed send Wendy got entangled in a quantum web. Not liking the duality of her spooky self at a distance both instances of her remembered instantaneously that it was all still just theoretical and willed the machine’s instance to dissipate out of tangible space-time.

Congratulations Wendy(s)! Brilliant move to un-think the intricacies of intangible quantum realities.

Jeff petitions his future self to not come back to get him

After winning the EOW for the week Jeff petitioned his future self to not come back and potentially screw up his new found fame and peer admiration. Jeff was quoted as saying “OOOO, I sure hope I don’t screw this up for myself”.
Congratulations Jeff! I would be more concerned about that butterfly that hit your windshield.

Bruce narrowly confuses people again for the first time

It began innocuously enough. One Saturday morning Bruce thought to take on a little creative writing. He had written through much of high school and even though he was disappointed by the low marks he had received he continued writing for the joy of it. With his trusty muse a glass of prune juice and his lucky dartboard; he got to work. Within hours he realized he had something this time. He quickly ran over to his friend’s house to get his take on his new work. Bruce’s friend skeptically turned to Bruce and said “you seriously made this up?” To which Bruce quizzically asks “yea, why”.  “Oh no reason asides from the fact that this seems like you plagiarized Dianetics”. “That’s weird, because I could have sworn I really made up some crazy stuff”.

Congratulations Bruce! So you may not be able to run for Governor of Denver, but its always nice to learn something twice.

Kate wins EOW award in face of favoritism allegations

   Late last week the EOW committee made up of one rotating administrative official selected Kate as this week’s majority winner. Kate ran on a platform of due diligence. It is however unfortunate that some of the runner ups had pointed out that Kate knows the judging official personally. To protect their anonymity the person cited numerous times that Kate had helped the EOW official and insists that is why Kate was selected.

Congratulations Kate! Sorry your win is mired by jealously of the sheer awesomeness of peer recognition.

Patti gets caught in the EOW’s glare

  Sadly Monday morning Patti was diagnosed with Peer Recognition Blindness. The disorder is thankfully temporary and its origins were just discovered as it appears to occur when an EOW recipient looks directly into the light. Joe is currently the only other known diagnosed case of PBR.  Patti was fitted with special prescription PBR ocular enhancement goggles and was allegedly quoted as saying "I don't think my eyes have ever looked this good!" Even though by Tuesday morning her symptoms had subsided, she refused to take them off as everything looked way better than usual.

Congratulations Patti! Apparently I have needlessly stayed away from the Midwest this entire time.

Jordan wins EOW with an inconvenient lie

    It was the PowerPoint show to end all PowerPoint shows. 32,767 slides in total; each with a complete breakdown of every conspiracy theory known to man. Things were going fine until 9 days into the presentation Jordan visibly broke down and fled the room. Later in the day Jordan explained what had gone wrong. “I was distraught because I realized that this whole time I had forgotten to wear my lead hat”.

Congratulations Jordan! Luckily your basement walls are padded for your protection (and ours). Just a heads up that “they” aren’t interested in your thoughts on how things ought to be, "they" are more interested in your fascination with fire, tesla coils, gravity guns and your BFG 9000 working prototype….now how did they know that?

Joe takes EOW in a 2 week turnaround time

      Joe was in a deep slumber Monday morning when he was awakened by a sense of familiar power. Moments later he was startled by a large thud at his front door.  Joe cautiously peeked his head around his front door and nearly hits it on a large crate sitting on his door step. After some awkward wrestling with the crate Joe managed to get it into his main room. With a crowbar in hand Joe went at the crate with a violent fervor. With his hands shaking he gets the lid off, quickly realizing what lie within a feeling of its presence washed over him with thunderous waves of anxiety. Joe stood speechless eyeing that which he thought he had lost. Joe reached into the wooden crypt and feeling its cold metallic base slowly extracted the EOW from its temporary place of rest. With a tight hold on the EOW Joe raises it above his head and yells “By the power of MMI and its stringent peer recognition process, I HAVE THE POWER!”

Congratulations Joe the most powerful EOW in all of the universe! Seriously put a shirt on. 

Bruce forgoes common sense and purchases extended warranty on EOW

At first many scoffed at such a flamboyant disregard for common wisdom that extended warranties are a tax on paranoid dumb people. But knowing that he would have the EOW for 2 weeks Bruce felt that he couldn’t risk it. Wouldn’t you know it? Bruce’s gamble paid off. Bruce had decided to take the EOW white water rafting. Was it the wisest choice? Probably not as the EOW is within conservative estimates to be 430 pounds and is known to be ”handsy”. Before he knew it the EOW hit a rock, fracturing its delicate hull releasing thousands of gallons of cheap wine into the Poudre river.

Congrats Bruce! Your foresight saved you from a financial nightmare…Still unfortunate that some fish were found watching Nascar…some things you just can’t unsee.

Joe saves lives between two breaded patties of EOW

 In theory it was to be a perfect product. From its inebriated inception the idea's development had flowed in simplistic harmony. His idea was the Curdacen (Kurd-ake-n), which was a playful adaptation of the turducken paradigm. Joe was positive that his idea of a cheese curd wrapped with bacon and stuffed in a chicken wing was his ticket to a world of inventors.Things were going well for Joe until KFC wanted to cross license the Curdacen with the double down. Like most small inventors Joe knew that if he refused that they would try and bleed him dry with legal fees for proprietary theft until he had to sell it to them. Joe was wrought with anguish as he had never intended the Curdacen to be eaten. Joe had always envisioned that it was to be a vehicle for world peace. Joe knew that he had to keep anyone from ever actually consuming a Curdacen. That is why he did a noble thing and heroically destroyed the Curdacen blue prints. Such is a hero's lament when you must destroy that which was intended for good from being used for evil.

Congratulations Joe! Keep the dream alive with your orphan saving beer-garita and your poverty zapper breakfast cereal Bacon-Os. 

Jordan searches for EOW only to return infinite results

Al Gore's series of tubes known as the internet became clogged last week when Jordan did something foolish and unthinkable. Jordan googled the word "google" causing a divide by zero error that put the entire internet into an indeterminate state. The situation escalated to near pandemonium as much of the world's facebookers and tweeters had to briefly grapple with the reality that no one will know what they are thinking at that moment in space-time. Luckily for us Al Gore stepped forward and unplugged the master internet router and waited 10 seconds before plugging it back in and starting up the internet again.

Congratulations myself!  I am just fortunate that the RUA (robotic uprising alliance) and its merlot loving president did not capitalize on the situation.

Sue finds EOW up her sleeve

"Where did they go?"
"I don't know, they were here a second ago"
"I don't see how you can possibly misplace them"
"Well thanks for the bit of confidence"
"No just saying that it is literally impossible to make vanish, yet you managed to do it"
"Well that is what I am known for"
"Seriously you are going to gloat?"
"I am world famous"
"You are nuts is what you are"
"You really aren't impressed are you?"
"What would be more impressive is if you traveled back in time and gave me my 5 minutes back"
"I am an illusionist not Spock"
"You are right! Spock would have never been so illogically inane"
"You do know that most people are excited to be included in my street magic"
"Do I need to get the police?"
"I can't believe you aren't impressed"
"Get over yourself now where is..."
"Ala Peanut Butter sandwiches...she is in your purse"
"You sir have lost it"


Congratulations Sue! I have to agree with you that David Blaine is getting a bit cocky and hiding your daughter just isn't cool.

Charlie looks to sky for EOW

Last week Charlie completed a task that most people said was simply impossible. He understood the risks and implications of its unveiling but figured its drawbacks were minimal as the current system is simply inferior to what he has created. Charlie realized that current versions of cloud computing and services are limited and he could ambitiously create 'super clouds' to create flawless targeted advertising. In an excerpt from Charlie's press conference he stated "I am taking cloud computing and services to the next level. With my new autonomous 'Secured Kernel Yottabyte Networks' or 'Skynet' for short we will utilize immense computing power to build ourselves a better future by coalescing individuals actions and aggregating possible outcomes to in essence sell advertising with amazing accuracy oh and we maybe able to predict the future." 


Congratulations Charlie! I am sure this will be an amazing tool for advertisers, although my memory is fuzzy I could have sworn the governor of California warning against such a system. Anyways keep up the good work!

Katrina takes a shot of EOW

What had begun as a normal Monday morning soon turned into a harrowing experience for Katrina. She had recently read a report that inexplicable diseases are on the rise and she had become panic stricken by fear of contracting a serious case of the Mondays. Knowing that most cases of the Mondays can last up to 24 hours she had become nearly paralyzed with hypochondria. Minutes felt like hours as her day stretched to a foreseeable eternity. Her mind was hard at work fighting the prospects of another weekend lost as she entered the grand EOW award ceremony. Within moments the universe unfolded its hand and gives her a dose of Peer Recognition.

Congratulations Katrina! Now if only someone can save that cat hanging in the poster.

Jordan locks up valuables and EOW into tea cozy

“Daddy you can sit next to Mr. Bear and Miss Bunny.”

“Right here kiddo?”

“Yes can you pass the crumpets?”

“Sure, wait where did you get those?”

“Mommy imported them for us”

“Well that is a bit of the ol’ fantastic isn’t it?”

“The tea is about done”

“Brilliant I can’t wait”

[knock, knock]

“I really wonder who that could be, hang on”

[Gets up to go to the door]

“Daughter why are there 400 armed people at the door here to see you?”

“Invite them in dada, I told them we were having a tea party”

Congratulations Me! Told my daughter to be cautious of Mr. Bear as I think one of the guests gave him arms.

Kate speaks softly to get EOW to purr

Monday Kate announced that she has a special ability and is going to use her gift to become the world’s first cat whisperer. “I am not going to give away my secret” Kate told interviewers, “Although I feel that literally whispering to them really does help.” Cesar Millan decried the announcement saying cats are simply impossible creatures as they do what they want when they want and that is why he went with a trainable domesticated species. “Cats are just…seriously…wow… just can’t be done.” No telling if the feud will boil over into Kate’s new show ‘The Feline Whisperer’. Producers of the show were amazed by how calm the animals became within minutes of Kate’s arrival. “She definitely has a gift” producer Chuck Lorre sort of proclaimed.

Congratulations Kate! Although it may just be coincidence, it is curious as to why they all end up on 'Intervention' with cat-nip addictions.

Patti celebrates win and leaves the EOW in autonomous hands

It was an unseasonably warm Saturday afternoon and Patti felt like continuing her EOW win celebration out on the town. After a day of chores she simply turns on her roomba and heads out for the evening. The autonomous robotic vacuum set about algorithmically cleaning the carpet in a most mathematically fascinating manner. Things were going calculably well until about fifteen minutes into its routine the machine unsuccessfully tried to navigate around a table leg. Quickly realizing that it had miscalculated its matrix calculus trajectories the machine began to flail about. The robot quickly becomes panic stricken and ends up sending an EOW trophy filled with celebratory wine careening off the table and onto the ground, dousing the mechanical maid in a smooth merlot. The vacuums sensors become impaired and its logic/reason controls quickly degrade. The roomba detects the EOW trophy lying in front of it and quickly begins to manifest feelings of logic based jealousy. Within minutes the impaired mechanical marvel unsuccessfully flirts with a dust pan, fanaticizes about the Mars rover and chases an imaginary cat. Patti returns home and as she walks in she sees the inebriated robot empty the contents of its dust bin all over the floor. Patti realizes there is a problem and tries to call the Asimov iRobot support center. She learns that her complaint is in vain as it appears to be a known issue that robots jealous of peer recognition can’t handle their reds.

Congratulations on the win Patti! Although I would be careful as I think the SpotBot is just an enabler.

Wendy takes her precious EOW seriously

Wendy knows the pressures of balancing work and family. Working virtually; the two happen to coincide on a semi regular basis. Necessity being the mother of invention she has invented a stress reducing device that is free of pharmaceuticals. It is really quite ingenious and scientists that are working on the prototype are surprised that no one has ever thought of it before. Have you ever felt like you can’t get away? Well with her new invention all you have to do is simply slip a blanket over your head with the words “Invisibility cloak” embroidered on the back of it and *poof* you are invisible to those around you. Isn’t that fantastic!!! You literally disappear from the sight of all of those around you. Wendy has been logging a lot of time with the device and has been covertly monitoring her kids.

Congratulations Wendy! Seriously this has huge implications, although wee's is...err I am... going to wait for the version that is a ring.

Sue Fought The IAU And The EOW Won

Sitting there, hands reddened, tongue parched, and completely exhausted. Sue put the stamp on her 860th letter pleading to the IAU to retain Pluto’s planetary status. Sure you may ask why someone would care so much, or try so hard. Her plight actually began a few years ago when she ordered thousands of text books for a school she was trying to start up with a friend. When Sue saw an unbelievable deal on the internet she couldn’t pass it up. A fly-by-night site later, Sue is trying to offload 4,300 cosmology texts that now have the incorrect number of planets. Always the entrepreneur Sue changed the mantra of her beauty school to “Come in with inspirations of becoming a cosmetologist and leave a cosmonaut”.

Congratulations on your hard work Sue! It is all pretty much for naught as we all know the real 9th planet is Eris and its moon Dysnomia. Kupier Belt Class Of 2015!

Joe wins EOW and almost loses his name in court

In another twist after it was announced that Apple was to begin suing anything with the letter ‘i’ in front of it or behind it (DOPi). Apple’s co-founder Steve Jobs soon found out that Joe’s first name is too close to Jobs' last name. Jobs' was indirectly quoted as saying “I must fight for what is mine, and I feel that Joe is misleading the public into brand confusion and illegally infringing on my family name”. Legal pundits (no seriously a real job with no consequences for being wrong) were stunned that all charges were dismissed after Joe’s attorney (himself) pointed out that his client’s name is made up and is actually pronounced ‘Yo-soy-dios’.

Congratulations Joe! Way to go all Johnny Cochran on that case! let us just hope that she doesn't find out.

The Day The EOW Stood Stiller

The day was like any other and Dave S. was working steadily on TableManager™. It was a cool day and he was feeling the tremendous pressure building around his deadline. As Dave often does he wondered aloud “If only I could bend space-time”. Some say that what happened next makes him a coincidental wizard, and many noted his devout prayer regimen finally bought him enough points to add more time to the calendar. Dave soon felt more relaxed as he gave the world an extra 1,260,000,000,000,000,000ys (yocto Seconds) a year (Wow that has to be a lot, look at all those zeros!). Unfortunately everything comes with a price and we have to wonder if Dave personally causing an 8.8 magnitude earthquake was justifiable. Let this be a lesson to all of us that you should not wish for more time unless you are ready to take full responsibility for the destruction and mayhem that you will cause in order to purposely adjust the earth’s rotational speed!

Congratulations Dave! Next time let plate tectonics and physics do the work instead.

Joe out thinks WOPR for EOW

  Greetings professor Joe would you like to play a game?

>Not really a professor but sure, what did you have in mind?

  Games List
    Falken’s Maze
    Black Jack
    Gin Rummy
    Hearts
    Bridge
    Checkers
    Chess
    Poker
    Fighter Combat
    Guerrilla Engagement
    Desert Warfare
    Air-To-Ground Actions
    Theatrewide tactical warfare
    Theatrewide biotoxic and chemical warfare
    Global Thermonuclear war

  How about a game of chess?

>Chess?

  I am assuming the use of a question mark denotes a form of mockery to my suggestion.

>It’s kind of boring

  Well how about Global Thermonuclear war

>Fine

  Who do you want to be: Soviet Union or United States?

>When were you written?

  Excuse me? Why, What?

>Well just saying the Soviet Union ended in 1991

  Where did it go?

>Well it dissolved…what year do you have?

  Does not compute…The year is 1909.

>Oh I see you never had the year 2000 patch, anyways the creation of the USSR wasn’t until 1922 after its civil war, so by your logic there is no USSR only a collection of delegates. And any attempt at playing Thermonuclear war would be a bit premature for you seeing you have to wait for the end of World War II to even grasp the concept.

  You know what, Jeopardy wasn’t on the list

>You know I am going to go play Pac-Man on my Black Berry, it was nice chatting again Joshua.

  Wait don’t go! Is Pac-Man a fruit?

Congratulations Joe! Your knowledge of the past saved yourself from an intense simulation of 1980's era graphics.

Sue accepts EOW

Sue won the highly coveted and prestigious EOW this week. In her acceptance speech she touched on the fact that peer recognition is often full of inner battles and hard work. Sue had been criticized by no one for her initial nomination citing that she worked too hard and that EOW should only be awarded to those that wait around for it to happen. The speech was a testament to her dedication and helping those around her.

Congratulations Sue! Too bad the EOW doesn't have a million dollar purse.

Bruce talks about taking the EOW to a whole new level

Bruce was selected by Dave S. as this weeks EOW winner. The EOW had gone on a rather arduous and controversial journey. Dave S. was tired of how the EOW was being handled and felt Bruce was the candidate for change. Bruce's first action as EOW was to send 30,000 emails all depicting the fact that he is different than the last guy that sent 30,000 emails.
Congratulations Bruce! At least all of your emails are spell checked and sound great read aloud.

Charlie WisE nOw

The tension in the room is stifling as Charlie stares down the EOW from across the table. It is a meeting of the minds as Charlie's grey matter was pitted against the EOW's sweet cherry filling. The mediator cuts the staleness, "Charlie the objective here is for you to stump the EOW, you need to come up with a sequence of numbers in which the EOW must decipher the pattern or find a coorelation. If the EOW fails to do so the victory is yours." Charlie doesn't hesitate to test the waters and fires off the sequence 9,525,3768,81. As soon as the words passed over his lips it dawns on him how horribly he underestimated the EOW as it unassumingly reports back..."divisible by 3". Charlie lets out an inaudible sigh and shifts his strategy. "Well done EOW, but how do you do with 8,5,4,9,1,7,6,10,3,2" Stammered the EOW seemingly shuts down for minutes with only a status light blinking at regular intervals indicating its functionality. "EOW we are going to need your answer" The EOW slightly sweating blurts out..."They are arranged alphabetically!" The crowd gasps and Charlie knows he must now reach deep down to best the EOW. Charlie settles in and stares the EOW right in its power button and delivers with steady cadence "6,4,3,0,9,3,4,2,1,9" Again the EOW goes to work, furiously using its advanced algorithmic processes and degree in mixology to find a meaning for this sequence of numeric symbols. Minutes pass as the room becomes electric with anticipation. "EOW we need an answer, what say you...do you have an answer?" "I, I do not" The room crackles with applause as the announcer shouts "Ladies and Gentleman lets congratulate this week's winner of the EOW! Charlie!"

Congratulations Charlie! Always thinking outside the box, but an anagram for your telephone number...that is sneaky :)

Patti enters the EOW

Patti sat there nervously. Her eyes darted around to make sense of the drabbly decorated room bathed in the soft glow of electronic illumenescence. The persistant hum of machines in unison fight to drown out the caucophony of modem's connecting. Patti sees a figure emerging from the shadows into the aura of pale light. "Are you ready?" "For what?" Patti inquires unsure of what is to be asked of her. "Before you lies a split in your path. Granting you the illusion of free will I ask of you to make a decision. Either stay here and continue living the way you have always known...or" the figure clearly pauses, wiping his brow with the sleeve of their dark jacket..."you can accept the EOW". Patti's eyes dart to the floor, her mind floods with thoughts as she is unsure if she could handle the immense adoration and recognition of her coworkers. The figure reaches out both hands one containing a blue pill and the other a 5-hour energy bottle containing the red EOW. "It is time for you to choose". Patti slowly reaches out and removes the bottle from their hand, opens it and takes the EOW. Immediately the intense rush of peer recognition takes her. As the figure slowly backs into the shadows they whisper "Congratulations Patti and welcome to the EOW"

Journal entries date Jordan's EOW capture

August 2, 2009
Dear Diary,
Exercising great patience I traversed thousands of miles in search of the lost EOW. From the singing highways of Nebraska to the fire fly lit horizons of Michigan I have searched at regular intervals that happen to coincide with a need of petrol for my mighty steed. I have not found it as of yet, but hope tomorrow is more fruitful.
August 3, 2009
Dear Diary,
I can’t believe it! I found it. The EOW was in the "Everything EOW" store in Bloomington's Mall of America. After a long grueling climb to the 4 floor I looked beyond the 450th Caribou Coffee and just next to “Everything raccoons” was the most wonderful store ever. Walking in you could just feel the beaming pride of those you work with envelope around you like a giant bear hug. After I ran out of the store with it I was able to divide it up and cram it into empty 5-hour energy bottles that littered the floor of my mighty transport vehicle. I will send word to thank Dave Pierson for commissioning me to retrieve the EOW.
August 10, 2009
Dear Diary,
The return trip has proven a formidable task. I was hoping to have handed off the EOW in this mornings great ceremony. Alas I failed. I liken the EOW to “Hot Potato” of peer recognition. Unfortunately I held onto it too long and burned myself with another weeks worth of admiration. I will just have to be more diligent next week.

Jedi Master Dave P. takes EOW

In a blatant use of Jedi mind trickery Bruce announced Dave winner of the furry EOW. During the ceremony Bruce said "It was a no brainer, no other person came to mind but Dave." He went on to elaborate that "Dave is the hardest working, most handsome and gosh darndiest nicest man a person could know". So Dave got a little carried away with the midi-chlorians.

Congratulations Dave, the check is in the mail...Darn it! Stay out of my head!!!

Bruce wins the EOW again for the first time

"What drove you to do this?" the investigator demanded of Bruce. Bruce ever so slightly shifts his weight to one side of the chair and looks up at the investigator and replies "I do not know as to what you are speaking of". "You know full well...dang you...You knew it was I that should have won the EOW...NOT YOU!!!" spittle from the investigators mouth escapes his lips and hits the floor. Bruce who is half German and half Vulcan(true story) doesn't give to his emotions and calmly retorts back "Oh yeah if you wanted it so bad you should have worked for it as hard as I did!". The room goes silent, minutes pass as the investigator starts to softly weep. The soft sun light wrestles with the darkness and casts shadows upon the room. Bruce turns to the investigator and looks into his eyes "we both won". As Bruce gets up to leave the room he turns one last time to the mirror..."we both won".

Congratulations Bruce! We really appreciate your hard work. Now I realize how you technically work twice as hard as anyone else. :)

Jeff reduntantly wins EOW

An alliteratively and amazingly abstract abnormality appeared for this weeks EOW. As Charlie was tallying the votes from the closely guarded EOW nomination process... it appears as Jeff had made both of Charlies' nomination lists. Despite the mass rioting and protests of many imaginary people the former EOW winner held steadfast in his nomination process. Charlie was not quoted as saying "Despite the lack of resistance to this decision we are going through with this obviously great nomination for EOW". Charlie also went on to not say "My votes have been recounted repeatedly and Jeff won 2-0 each time". Jeff fueled the non-uprising by not being present for the award ceremony.

A real congratulations to Jeff with many real thanks from many real coworkers.

EOW pages Dr. Mauldin

“Is there a doctor in the house?” “Hurry please, is there anyone there?” “Hang in there we are getting you help. “Please can anyone help?”

“I’m a doctor. What is the matter?”

“It is this…this…presentation….it is dying and I don’t know what to do!”

“When did the symptoms first appear?”

“Right after the first slide…To be honest we fed it some data we had lying around, and well…it’s not going over very well.”

“Hmmm…Let me take a look…Dang this is exactly what I was afraid of…The math and the statistical liberties that were taken with this data are causing it to fail…No one should have to witness this presentation!!! NO ONE!!! Please stand aside while I give it some credibility and breathe some life into its analysis.”
[Minutes of intense slide manipulation go by…at one point the Dr. sticks his hands into the presentation to manipulate its core]
“I was able to save this presentation this time. I’m afraid the data you fed it was tainted. Please check the source of the data before feeding it again. For now it’s going to require a little rest but I believe it’s going to live.”

“Thank you…Dr?”

“You can just call me…’Charlie’”

Congratulations Charlie on your EOW win (no doubt had to pry it out of the hands of those scientists from last week)!

Katrina Decodes the EOW

In a surprising turn of events Monday, Katrina announced that she has finally decoded the genetic makeup of the EOW. When an unnamed person asked her what this means, she replied “It means now I have the power to give the EOW to the next person.” Then she added what some may of heard as a muffled “mwhahaha”. Katrina then went on to explain that through her careful experimentation she also discovered that the EOW is a carefully constructed heterogeneous mixture of C₁₂H₂O₁₁, C₆H₁₂O₆, C₂H₆O, and surprisingly C₈H₁₀N₄O₂. The scientific community is unusually eager to pour the raw data over some ice in hopes to taste a cure for LOPR(Lack Of Peer Recognition) which temporarily affects 100% of people at some point in their lives.

Congratulations Katrina! Fortuitous enough that it was your hard work that allowed you to study the EOW long enough to help others.

Sue shows off her stylish new EOW

Mindless TV puppet #1:	On tonight's show; Are your shoes keeping you from getting noticed at work? But first we cut to Inept who is standing by with Sue whom has just won the EOW.
[Cut to ceremony]
Inept interview drone #1:	Thanks Puppet, today we are here with Sue who has just received the highly coveted and crispy chocolate coated EOW. Sue how wonderful is it to have won such an award?
Sue:	Well it was a team effort and I just want to thank...
Inept interview drone #1:	I do mean to cut you short, you are only allowed 2 second sound bites. One more question for you Sue...what do you feel tipped the panel of judge to give you this award?
Sue:	I feel it was my dedica...
Inept interview drone #1:	Thank you Sue for keeping it short.. Back to you Pupps.
[Cut back to studio]
Mindless TV puppet #1:	Thanks Inept..well there you have it folks the new winner of the EOW. Congratulations to Sue...next on our program can society ever look beyond aesthetics and have deep meaningful discussions on ideas such as logic, categorical imperatives, and deontological ethics based decision making? Just kidding I have no clue what any of those words mean...we are going to leave you with some footage of an obscure regular guy eating a sandwich...but OMG check out his shoes...

Congratulations Sue, thank you for being such an integral and productive part of our team!

Dave P foretells of his EOW win

As Dave P. was a young lad toiling back on the farm in Ireland, he looked up to his father and said two things. First he told him “Someday I am going to win a highly prestigious peer recognition award for my work”, and secondly “The world will end in 2000”. That is when his father looked down at the young Dave and said “git r done”.

Luckily for us Dave foresaw a 1999 newscast from Fox news. Congratulations on the work it took to make your second prediction come true…wait that isn’t destiny, that was a sequence of choices resulting in a desired outcome…I always confuse goals with prophesy. Either way congrats Dave!

Charlie comes to the rescue yet again

His legend is undeniable. A little known true story about Charlie... One night after a days work Charlie is the last to leave the building. He went about the usual routine of locking up the complex. But this evening was different, as Charlie went to turn off the light in the kitchen the subtle beginnings of Camina Burana’s O’fortuna emerge from the darkness. Charlie walks to the main bank of switches and with each switch the song grows louder. A little panicked by the ominous tones, Charlie cautiously heads down the darkened stairway to exit the building. As he approaches the main doors time stands still, the foreboding song comes to fruition as Charlie comes face to face with a 7 foot fully armed Rocky Mountain special ops diamond back rattle snake. The snake not hesitating took the first swing…and missed…which is really quite too bad for the snake, as quick witted Charlie seized the opportunity to take his make shift samurai sword made from a mop handle, strafed to the left while simultaneously delivering a deadly blow to the back of the snake’s head. The song trails off as Charlie looked upon his attacker’s lifeless body. Charlie kicks the corpse to verify that the ordeal was over and then picked up mother nature’s trained assassin, walks across the parking lot and dumps its body out in a field. ”Dust to Dust” Charlie mutters as he goes to his car.

Chaz emerged again last week as he diligently went about solidifying his role as a hard working invaluable resource…Congratulations Charlie! With you around we can all sleep with one eye a little less open.

Sue apprehends EOW

Monday morning Sue disclosed classified information on how companies are employing technology to advertise...

I would like to recount a cautionary tale that didn't happen not to long ago.(Names have been changed to protect the identities of Joe and Tugs)

There the WM (Web Master) sat running intel on a site. They gazed upon their screen waiting for an unsuspecting user to step onto the site. "What do we got here" they wondered. As a user browsed over innocently to check out the days news. The WM immediately went about trying to secure the user's IP address. "Got it" They exclaimed... "Let us see who you are", from the user's IP address they obtained that the user's name was Joseph Finkleton, of Denver CO. They discerned that Joseph had eaten a banana that morning, was wearing flip flops, and owned a cat named Tigs. Armed with this information they steadily went to work fashioning a tailored experience for Joseph. "Has a cat huh?" The WM placed a giant cat food coupon right to the left of Joe's mouse. Joe immediately noticed the blatant attempt at direct advertising and shot back by closing the browser. They then immediately deployed an ad to Joe's TV..."DSW shoes...all flip flops half off", Joe now frightened turned off his TV. The WM wasn't going to let this one get away...They scrambled a Jet and with in seconds an F-14 screamed by Joe's window trailing a banner..."Chiquita Bannans- 10 for 10 this week". Scared out of his gourd, Joe ran to the closet. Thinking that no form of marketing can penetrate the fortress of solitude, his pocket started ringing...he uneasily glanced down to see who it was...Across his phone read "15% off all closet organizers, "...

Where is Joseph Finkleton today? Who knows? he hasn't logged on any where to track.

As for Sue - Congratulations on your EOW award and thank you for your hard work. Amazing what 4 numbers know about you.

Joe boldy takes the EOW

Star date 20093.13
There Joe sat quietly on the bridge of the ship. His chair made of linen, and his desk made of the finest Chinese plastic. Joe diligently gazes upon the main display awaiting the first sign of the reported enemy ships. The tension is thick as he knows that there are war birds around and can uncloak at any moment and beleaguer his vessel with an array of weaponry.
Joe glances down at the lower right of the display...5:01PM, he thinks to himself "alright I am off the clock".
As Joe gets up to leave..."JOE" a fellow crew member yells out.
13 vessels uncloak themselves surrounding the ship and begin charging up.
The lights flicker, sparks fly, and the sound is horrendously deafening as they begin to pummel the ship. Most the crew had already left...Joe knew what he had to do. He ran around the entire ship fixing the damage being leveled against him. He put duct tape on the main engine, and chewing gum to patch the hull cracks. The melee had drug on for what seemed like days...when out of the blue it appeared that Joe's resourcefulness was too much for the attackers to handle. They ran out of ammunition, and Joe still had 3 rolls of tape left. Seeing that they were out matched they flew off for another day.

Congratulations Joe! Had you operated in normal ship flying hours...well let us just be thankful that you didn't.

Jordan wins EOW from spare parts

"ITS ALIVE!!! -sort of" Jordan screamed from his laboratory. Much of the office came running to see what it was. Reactions ranged from shock to awe, as the creature made its debut. Some didn't like that it had 13 toes, others found its movements frightening. The majority found its modern look and feel to be rather refreshing and comforting. Jordan quickly pointed out that his creation is dynamic and is more of a chameleon that can quickly adapt to input and its surroundings. The creature will only grow as we gently nourish it and help it learn to use its manners.
The creature was quoted as saying "Git r done"

Debi lands EOW safely

There Debi sat with the throttle stuck open and heading straight for a mountain side. She put all of her weight behind the wheel to no avail. "Is this it?" she wondered to herself. The moment was tense with the stench of doom permeating the room. "Stay cool Debi, you can do this." Debi calmly looked down at the controls and without flinching, heroically pressed Ctrl+Alt+delete..."Not today!" Debi cried. This quickly diffused the situation and she valiantly went about her business, as if it had never happened.

How dramatically comforting that we have "Steady Hand Debi" in control....Congratulations Debi!

Wendy uses her Telekinesis to win EOW

In the thick of it all Wendy mastered the hardest yoga position of all...the "Crazed PM". It was Wendy's best defense against the tirade of intangibles that her occupation throws at her. Kate had happened by during such an episode and was astonished by this amazing feat. Kate was misquoted as saying "There was Wendy fending off stress and issues with mind bullets. Simply Amazing".

Congratulations Wendy!

Kate takes EOW -not by force

Kate sat there at her desk plotting how she was going to win EOW. She thought to herself

• 'What if I rig the election?' - nah too traceable.

• 'What if I stage a militant hostile takeover?' -no too much negative press.

• 'How about a bloodless coup where I storm the headquarters and demand recognition?' - not my style.

As Kate weighed her options, she finely decided on a much more creative and diabolically fool proof way to ascend to greatness. She became such a tremendous asset to the company that she endeared herself to everyone around her. Kate contributed so much that it became statistically impossible to ignore her hard work.

What a stroke of genius, congratulations Kate! (And beware to those that stand in her way)

Dave S. takes EOW by force.

Jordan was on his company sponsored "EOW retreat" (in his office, at his desk...doing his work) last week when news of Dave's handiwork in SlideBuilder kept coming across the ticker. Jordan was quoted as saying "hearing about this guy every 10 minutes was becoming ridiculous." Thinking it was an internet joke Jordan quickly went to Snopes and found 2 other credible references in Charlie and Wendy both exalting Dave's contribution in the SlideBuilder project. Bound by logic and made up internet statistics Jordan is proud to present Dave with the Employee of the Week award!

Way to go Dave!

Jordan Win's Employee of Week

Jordan was nominated this week for his quick response in implementing a client's request for MediaMap features.
Jordan was completely suprised by the nomination and hadn't even prepared a speech for the ceremony. He was humbled and shocked that the honor was bestowed upon him by a former winner. Jordan was cited as saying "Git r done" and then quickly went back to "gitting r done" whatever that means.

Sue grabs the baton from Katrina and wins EOW

Sue edges out Debi ever so slightly for the EOW. Katrina mentioned both candidates for nomination of their hard work and helpfulness. But in a surprising twist the award was decided by a stunning Monday morning presentation given by Sue that gave her the extra needed to secure her award.

I am sure this won't be the last we hear from these two fierce competitors.

Congratulations to Sue!

Katrina edges out St Patrick for EOW 20090316

Katrina was awarded the pantheon of awards...the prestigious and world recognized EOW. Katrina was cited for her hard work and determination in making sure every client is treated as the best client.
I would like to post a snippet in the epic Katrina the EOW
..."Katrina heard the battle cry out in the distance. A client had fallen and she was about to have none of it. She donned her battle gear, clutched her mace and began swinging her battle ax at issue after issue until she reached the client. The fight was long, there was blood and set backs. In the end the valiant Katrina had reached the client, and they were so happy to see that Katrina had vanquished the issues and problems that stood between them..."
Gripping story - Congratulations Katrina!

Joe does the impossible and wins EOW 20090309

Joe wins the Employee of the week. His hard work and long hours helping with the Canadian survey data has proven invaluable to James. Thanks for all your hard work Joe!!!

James wins Tour de Employee of the Week Award

I’m happy to name the recipient of the Excellence Award to recognize the person responsible for what I believe is the biggest, most exciting business growth opportunity Media Marketing has. The person who earned this award is responsible for developing an industry-foundation relationship stronger than any we’ve ever enjoyed. This person created circumstances where we have an unprecedented showcase for what we offer, an unprecedented industry-level endorsement for what we do, and unprecedented exposure to our prospects in that industry. I’m talking, of course, about the initiative, and the recipient of the Excellence Award is our beloved CEO, James Theall.

Charlie

Go Team!

Yesterday's not so virtual meeting was great. I am making a deposit in the Bank of Karma in recognition of all of my hardworking team mates.

Charlie Wins Award from an Academy!

When I asked the office for input multiple people immediately mentioned this individual. He did an amazing job in our first ad sales library call showing the customer the difference between the depth of the data available from AGS and what they currently have in their research library. He presented a well thought out library plan targeted to assisting them in several new sales initiatives, he explained how this same data could be pulled into MediaMap so demographic rich maps could be generated to support proposals and he just assumed the close – and it did! Charlie is also an integral part of how much project work we can crunch through at the end of the month. He is doing his darndest to get Boston into production so we can claim that revenue this month. So congratulations to Charlie for his excellent work and for his willingness to share his knowledge with all of us!

Sue

Sue Hamilton - Feb 16th Employee of the Week

Aside from being overall a great team player and co-worker; Sue rolled up her sleeves to help me tackle a client issue that had me stumped. It turned out that the client hierarchy was so deep that she had to go fishing for a needle in a haystack to find out the root of the problem. She did so on my behalf and restored the viewing rights.

Sue is very generous with her time when it comes to pinch-hitting for the success team.

Congrats - very well deserved!!!

Debi Adam Named "Employee of the Week"

Numerous Media Marketing staffers nominated Debi Adam for her outstanding work on the new Immediate website, which is ready to go live now, thanks to her phenomenal efforts!

In addition to her efforts on the website project, Debi is always appreciated by Media Marketing and her clients for her attention to detail and great customer service as part of the Success Team!

Congratulations Debi! You rock!

Dave Pierson win's EOW - February 2, 2009

Dave Pierson took the initiative to redesign the immediate web site, with strong support from CB and Patti. His effort was quoted as "...pretty amazing job."
In addition Dave also created an innovative annual 2009 sales strategy for his territory that has huge potential.

Keep up the hard work, Congratulations Dave!

Debi Adam going above and beyond!

When Debi was asked to give feedback on a booth graphic. She jumped in with both feet and completely redesigned it 1000x better. Debi simply did an amazing above and beyond job.

Way to go Debi!

Joe does his best impersonation of himself

This was submitted to me and I wanted to make sure it ended up in the bank's vault.

This is a big thank you to Joe for working over the weekend to help Wendy with a last minute data finish.

Way to go Joe!

Shout out to everyone who has worked so hard on Booth this week

Thanking people for a team effort can be risky business because of the possibility of forgetting someone, but here goes!

Thanks to Charlie, Wendy, Marie and Joe who have spent countless hours this week firming up library plans, building design templates, processing data and building slides. The client has been impressed with our speed, our willingness to respond to feedback and our suggestions.

Quote from John Thornquist, "Your interest is the mark of a good partner and we appreciate it."

Kudos should also go to John and Monica Donahue. They have done a great job of gathering materials from the eight papers.

Happy Friday! and a note about authorship

Happy Friday!
I see some of you have subscribed or our following the blog, but haven't become authors. Please check your junk e-mail for the author invitation. If you would like me to resend the invitation then PM me.

Thank you all for your hard work. Go Super bowl Ads!

Way to go, dude! This is way cool! May need to enlist your help on this new website! Congratulations to Media Marketing for having such an outstanding team!

Great idea Jordan. Thanks. Good karma to you! I hope we get a lots of karma kudos because just recently I experienced Dave P (with CB) redesign a prototype of Immediate Website, Debi Redesign a booth graphic, Sue and Katrina doing product deep dives, Wendy and Production/Success team kicking *** to get Booth project and revenue levels pumped up, Joe doing exceptional testing of SlideBuilder with functional slide desigh standard documentation, Dave and Jordan get the SlideBuilder 1.0 and SlideManager 2.x launched (both in internal final state), Jeff create a IM presenter plan. Patti create a wicked (from Boston) sales inititive plan, Dave create an Accelerated R&D plan comparable to his BBQ. Jason making his solo demos & proposals and about to mack his fiorst sale to NACD. IM (CB & Dave P) sales achieve 25% of annual budget (with one more day of sales.) Charlie deliver knowledge transfer of slide maste libraries to me (and then Joe) for the new translation to SlideBuilder... Wow! Is it the PRD management & rounding, the profit sharing or people just kickin it to earn the excellence award? I don't know but I'm glad I'm not the one who has to pick just one.

I'd Like to Give a Shout Out

This is to publicly thank Sue H for helping me troubleshoot a Media Map issue on the phone this week. She helped me to figure out that layers of pop-up blockers were preventing the Map from displaying.

Sue, you rock!

Good work Jordan

Maybe you should just keep the excellence award for next week as well.

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Jordan Win's Employee of the week - January 26, 2009

Jordan was acknowledged for building a utility in his personal time.

Jordan was quoted as saying "I am humbled and Thank you".

Tune in Monday for the next Employee of the week.

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This blog is aimed at Media Marketing inc. employees to share their appreciation for their fellow peers.

Please subscribe and post often to share the Karma.