Monday, March 29, 2010

Patti celebrates win and leaves the EOW in autonomous hands

It was an unseasonably warm Saturday afternoon and Patti felt like continuing her EOW win celebration out on the town. After a day of chores she simply turns on her roomba and heads out for the evening. The autonomous robotic vacuum set about algorithmically cleaning the carpet in a most mathematically fascinating manner. Things were going calculably well until about fifteen minutes into its routine the machine unsuccessfully tried to navigate around a table leg. Quickly realizing that it had miscalculated its matrix calculus trajectories the machine began to flail about. The robot quickly becomes panic stricken and ends up sending an EOW trophy filled with celebratory wine careening off the table and onto the ground, dousing the mechanical maid in a smooth merlot. The vacuums sensors become impaired and its logic/reason controls quickly degrade. The roomba detects the EOW trophy lying in front of it and quickly begins to manifest feelings of logic based jealousy. Within minutes the impaired mechanical marvel unsuccessfully flirts with a dust pan, fanaticizes about the Mars rover and chases an imaginary cat. Patti returns home and as she walks in she sees the inebriated robot empty the contents of its dust bin all over the floor. Patti realizes there is a problem and tries to call the Asimov iRobot support center. She learns that her complaint is in vain as it appears to be a known issue that robots jealous of peer recognition can’t handle their reds.

Congratulations on the win Patti! Although I would be careful as I think the SpotBot is just an enabler.

1 comment:

  1. That happened to me once, too...that's why I only give my roomba Cuervo...and I had to get rid of my SpotBot because it was molesting our toaster and kept smoking all my cigarettes. But...I digress! Congratulations Patti!

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